What happens when you want something bad? Sometimes it feels like an ache or a hunger. We find that we are not satisfied until we have gotten whatever it is that we desire. What happens when we finally get what we want? Are we finally satisfied, or do we find that our desires have moved on to bigger and better things?
Have you ever heard the saying, “be careful what you wish for”, when describing to someone what it is that you want? This implies that there will be a negative outcome if you get what you want. This saying is a phrase that is steeped in fear.
Over the centuries there have been many stories written about people who wished for something and when they got it bad things happened to them. The unfortunate thing about these stories is that they are mostly circulated when we are children. We are told stories about people who wished for things that when they got them, the bad things started to happen. So let’s dissect a theory on where these stories may have had their origin.
Have you ever noticed that the desires of children sometimes seem to be insatiable? When you take a child to a grocery store, they always seem to ask for something. When they watch television, the commercials that they see are created to arouse desire within them to have the products that are advertised. You can often find yourself in a relentless battle with children telling them that they cannot have everything that they want. So, what would be an easy way to say no without using the word?
Please do not bail on me until you read past the next two paragraphs, I am going to tell a story as an example here….
One way would be to tell them the story about the little boy who wished for everything. One day he found a rock laying by the side of the road that seemed to be glowing. He cupped his hands around it to provide darkness and indeed it glowed in the dark. He put the stone in his pocket and headed home. When he arrived at home, he went to his room and removed the stone from his pocket. As he looked at it, he wished that he had a nice wooden box to keep his new treasure in.
Suddenly a wooden box appeared on the bed beside him. It was inlaid with ivory and fine wood. He picked up the box and stared at it in disbelief. He opened it and inside was a special place where the stone fit exactly. As he began to place the stone in the box, suddenly a small bird crashed into the window of his room.
He went to the window and looked at the small bird lying on the ground writhing in pain. He did not realize yet that the bird had been hurt as payment for his wish.
And on and on….
A negative consequence for a positive gain. Do you ever wonder why you feel anxious when a large deal is pending, something that you have been wanting bad? Could it be that as a child you were programmed to believe that if something incredibly good was to happen, that something bad would follow?
Could this be the reason that as we begin to reach the successes that we have always dreamed of that we sabotage ourselves and prevent them from happening? We begin to suffer from the “what if’s” and the “unknowns”. We begin to worry that if we achieve the success that we seek, that something bad is going to happen.
When you begin to experience success in any form, it is important to be prepared to experience the fear of failure, or the fear of something bad happening. When you are getting close to success you should try to notice the voices from your past that tell you something bad is coming and ignore them. You might even say out loud that it is not true, that nothing bad will happen if you succeed.
Reviewing positive attitude materials can help you in this process. In the same way that therapy helps us to overcome personal issues, positive attitude materials can help us to overcome our career issues. Listen to or read something motivational on a regular basis. Attend a seminar at least twice a year dedicated to overcoming limiting beliefs. It is important to exercise your abilities to fight against fear, just as important as it is to exercise the rest of your body.
By learning to overcome your fears you empower yourself to succeed and each success leads you to another and makes you more able to overcome more fears. Practice this regularly and you will find yourself achieving things that you never thought possible.