In a heartwarming story of good citizenship that appears to have been concocted in a laboratory to make the GQ Entertainment staff happy, British actor and noted children’s story enthusiast Tom Hardy chased down a runaway moped thief, hauled him out by the scruff of his neck until London police arrived, and described the incident in exactly the manner you expected that Tom Hardy would employ. From The Sun:
A witness in Richmond, London, told yesterday how Hardy chased the thief through gardens and across a building site—before proudly announcing: “I caught the c–t.”
Hardy, 39, told one onlooker: “This little s–t nicked something and now he’s got himself a broken leg.”
Apparently, two teenagers fleeing on a stolen moped abandoned their prize after crashing into a car, and Hardy sprang into action. Using language so perfectly and quintessentially British that I can’t help but wonder if I’m being trolled, witnesses described to The Sun the “mental” scene of Hardy, looking “as mad as he does on the telly,” taking off in pursuit of one of the fugitives, vaulting over a series of garden walls—”it was like an assault course,” gushed one new Tom Hardy fan for life—to catch the presumably-terrified thief and make a citizen’s arrest. One gentleman, while gesticulating wildly and pumping his fist, I imagine, raved that it was as if Hardy had “switched to superhero mode in an action movie,” and added that if the fugitive “had been dumb enough to resist,” he reckoned that “Tom would have given him a good hiding.” Even in print, you can almost hear the quavering disappointment in his voice.
If this turns out to be a viral marketing stunt for, say, the next season of Peaky Blinders, I’ll be sorely disappointed. But unless and until that detail comes out, Tom Hardy is the reigning king of movie star vigilantes, and aspiring grand larcenists would do well to stay clear of his general vicinity in the future.